Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize