Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
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That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
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The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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