The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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