Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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