Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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