never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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