i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
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Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
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Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
God, I missed his penis.
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