At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize