She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
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His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
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But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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