The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
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I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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