I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize