jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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