My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize