overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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