pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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