Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
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pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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