Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize