Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize