And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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