Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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