drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize