Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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