youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize