he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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