no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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