I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
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