Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
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