So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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