Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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