I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
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I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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