Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
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