I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
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Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
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I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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