small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
there is glitter all over my balls
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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