Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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