You just made me feel so damn special
barbara walters just said penis...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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