shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Randomize