He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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