she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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