mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
her facebook's as public as her vagina
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize