That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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