I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize