well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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