you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize