never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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