my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize