somebody snuck up and got me drunk
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
not ubering you a puppy
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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