oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize