And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
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i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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