after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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