There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
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I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
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Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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